Becoming the Reaper: How to kill everyone
by Leider Hosen
Summary: my (semi serious) guide to fighting all the bosses in Souls :3
1. Intro

Probably useless to most all, just a compendium of observations and mannerisms of various bosses and how to vanquish them (will be filled in as I defeat bosses, beginning with Dark Souls II, likely ending their too)

If this can help some n00bs of the world get better, or maybe just give the pros a good laugh, than it's all right :3

I'll start by showing you my scale and how it works:

My super doom attack of death : the diamond indicates an especially nasty attack to avoid at all costs. Will not appear on all bosses for obvious reasons, but when you see it, beware

Difficulty: X

1 - Casul: Piss easy to kill, there are minions harder than this bitch

2 - Newb: Can do some damage, but not that much if you're careful.

3 – Easy: A skilled player can brush them off, a new player may have some trouble, but not much.

4 – Semi-dangerous: A skilled payer will not take them down without a fight, and may take some heavy damage, tough enough to kill a new player rather fast.

5 – Moderate: Not too difficult or to easy, a level appropriate fighter should be able to kill them without grinding, but it may take awhile. Skilled players may die a few times before winning.

6 – Threatening: Anyone would have a hard time beating them, fights could get fairly intense, and a few deaths may ensue.

7 – Deadly: Multiple deaths are expected for new players, and skilled players may have to be wary even if they have fought the opponent before.

8 – _Very_ Deadly: A formidable opponent with a great deal of attacks and powers, skilled players would have a hard time beating them without the proper equipment, and new players may be turned away until a later time.

9 – Despairingly Hard: Extremely formidable, guaranteeing a long, arduous fight and many deaths even with a lot of skill under one's belt, heading into rage-quit territory.

10 – Prepare to Die: The level where a fight could end seconds after beginning with _barely_ any damage to the boss done. No matter how much experience you have, this boss will kill you numerous times until you can get the timing absolutely perfect, every hit ungodly punishing.

Have fun :3


	2. The Last Giant

The Last Giant:

Difficulty: 4.5

Status: Optional (required to get the soldier's key and access a large portion of the fortress, including a route to the Bastille)

Expected deaths: 0-8, depending on skill.

Frustration Level: Low

Epicness factor: Low

**Attacks:**

**Stomp**: Brings his foot into the air and stomps on the ground very hard, guaranteeing some very heavy damage a starting class. May seem easy, but since he has long legs and great tracking, he can clip you even if you stand a ways away from him.

**Triple Stomp**: He brings his foot up and stomps on the ground three times in a row, each with the range and power of his normal stomp. Since he tracks well, you may run out of stamina evading the first couple then get nailed by the third.

**Back and forth stomp**: He stomps from one leg to the other a few times. Second verse same as the first, only it affects both his sides.

**Slam**: he leans back and lunges, smashing the ground with his arms. Does very heavy damage, but easy to avoid.

**Ground Sweep**: He draws himself towards the side and sweeps the ground with his hands. Mild damage but hard to evade as it has a very wide radius.

**Sword Arm**: At 50% health, he rips his arm off and attacks the player with it as though it were a sword. Inflicts enormous levels of damage and greatly extends both his range and his radius of attack.

This is a pretty menacing foe for a starting player, and uses the instinct to run away from a bigger foe to its advantage, as that is when he is at his most dangerous, especially when he has his sword.

First of all, blocking will not work, even with a greatshield his damage is great enough to go right through, and his attacks have a tendency to clip through a shield and hit behind you, doing_ full_ damage, especially on his stomping attacks.

The best way to kill him is to stick close to his ankles and two-hand your sword:

Wait for him to stomp, then hit his foot while it's on the ground, leaving stamina to flee when he winds up for another stomp. Target the other ankle and attack that until it raises, rinse and repeat and you will take him apart.

Avoid his sides at all costs, as his ground sweep can reach near behind him, when you see it, go to his opposite side (if he's swinging left, go to his right ankle and vice versa).

Make sure that unless you are avoiding a stomp, you are never standing in front of him, if you have to shed armor to gain mobility, that will be very advantageous as you close back in to fight. You **will** get hit by a few stray attacks, and get a massive knockback. The best thing to do is not panic: run to his ankles, avoid the sweep, heal when he finishes his next attack and go right back to hacking.

With this strategy, you can kill him try one pretty fast, though he's still a good threat for a first boss :3


	3. The Pursuer

The Pursuer

Difficulty: 7.5

Status: Optional (opens a route to the Bastille)

Expected Deaths: 3-10

Frustration: Medium

Epicness Factor: Tense but sweet

* * *

Attacks:

**Slash**: Brings his sword around and hits for a large amount of damage. Very large radius makes it hard to dodge.

**Shield Bash**: a quick hit with his shield that does a lot of damage and will likely break your poise in a single hit, leaving you vulnerable.

**Combination Slash ()**: Hits twice, once with his sword, then once with his shield, then sends a third sword attack that drops down on the player's head/sweeps forward (he has two variations of the attack). Each hit is very strong, hard to avoid, and will wipe out you stamina in the blink of an eye, and spells death for most all new players who can't predict his set of attacks.

**Lunge**: when you are standing far away, he will bring his shield forward and sword behind him, flying forward at high speeds and bringing his sword in an upward arc, which does heavy damage and can knock you right from your feet.

**Curse Thrust ()**: He brings his sword back, and lunges forward as the blade glows bright blue. This attack does heavy damage and will curse you in one hit, taking a chunk out of your life. If that wasn't bad enough, it buffs the Pursuer: more defense, higher attack, and a new attack in the form of a blue laser beam from his sword that serves as a ranged attack.

**Counter attack ()**: A very rare, very diabolical moveset i forgot until My EarthScraper reminded me. The Pursuer, if you wail on him too much, gets behind his shield to stop damage, doing a few spear thrusts into your gut from behind his defenses, followed by a radial attack as he jumps out from behind his shield. It is unpredictable and hard to see coming, so be mindful of standing in front of him and hitting too many times in a row.

* * *

This guy is very dangerous, especially since you encounter him so early in the game. One misstep can cost you the fight, especially if you get stunlocked by his three-hit combo, which can spell death even behind a shield.

Healing in the fight will almost always result in the Pursuer getting Aggroed and launching a high-speed attack, killing the injured player in one shot (this happens a LOT even for pros).

The best way to fight him is to distance yourself as much as possible from him to avoid his attack combos, which will always result in him using his lunge. If you dodge at the right time, he will simply fly past you with his sword hitting behind you, giving you a moment to heal safely or hit him a few times.

When he turns to face you, run away and let his combo miss, though beware, as he is very slippery and will swing himself a good distance forward.

Rinse and repeat until he his defeated, though your timing has to be very good or else you will take a huge amount of damage. When you see his curse thrust, either run or dodge, but don't get hit, as it will likely cost you the fight.

If you wish to try your luck, the ballista can near one-shot him, but without a phantom summon to aim, it may not be worth it.

Dying a few times is common since he has a massive amount of health and gets more and more aggressive and fast as the fight drags on (this is especially true when it comes to that thrust, which he starts spamming like no tomorrow at two or three times the speed), so don't fret too much and keep your head, and you will win :3


	4. The Old Dragonslayer

The Old Dragonslayer

Difficulty: 8.8 (6.0 with a good shield)

Status: Optional (Required to access the Blue Sentinel Covenant)

Expected Deaths: 3-10

Frustration: High (the fight is awesome, but the trip to get to him is a goddamn nightmare)

Epicness factor: Legendary

* * *

Attacks:

**Spear Thrust: **A fast jab with the spear with a good amount of damage

**Duel Spear Thrust**: Plunges his spear forward for heavy damage, then braces himself and draws it upward, knocking the player skyward and leaving them wide open for more attacks.

**Spear Sweep**: Grabs his spear near the base and sweeps it around. Mild damage but very wide radius and range, making it hard to dodge.

**Heavy Thrust ()**: Appears in the later end of the fight, Brings his spear far back behind his head and does a massive lunge forward. I haven't been hit by it, but it is likely Ornstein's Vlad the Impaler attack. Finding out is not advised.

**Jumping thrust**: Leaps in the air and lunges down on the player from the air, doing massive damage with his plunging hit.

**Rocket Thrust**: Hunkers to the ground and lunges forward at very high speeds with his spear behind his shoulder, doing a large thrust when close to the player.

**Abyss Arrow**: Fires a strong orb of dark energy at the player from a long range, which can inflict a good bit of damage and tends to be hard to dodge.

**Triple Abyss Arrow**: Fires a scatter shot of Abyss Arrows at the target for a monstrous hit.

**Bodyslam ()**: Hunkers to the ground and charges up his power, leaping in the air and slamming down on the ground, unleashing a pulse of dark energy that can potentially one-shot a hapless player.

* * *

As you can see, Ornstein's greatest threat is not his damage or defenses, but the incredible arsenal of all manner of attacks to hit you with. Every attack has its own attack speed and pattern, and he can string these together with devastating results.

If you plan on fighting him without tanking all the damage to a greatshield, be wary of his mobility: you have to be attentive to his every move at all times or you WILL die, no question about it.

Most of his attacks have fair telegraphing, but his thrusts can take you off guard as the only indicator he is about to do one is to move his hand back. When he pulls back, dodge immediately, or you'll be skewered long before you can hit the circle button, and since he chains attacks, one hit can stunlock while the rest stack for a humiliating defeat.

Since he carries the spear in his right hand, make sure you dodge to the right side, aiming to land behind him, because if you dodge backwards or left, he'll hone in and pulverize you.

Unlike the Pursuer, Ornstein's strategy is constantly shifting, so focus and adaptability are a must if you want to hold your own, simply baiting a rocket lunge will not be enough.

Breaks in his attack come in the form of a sort of circle strafe, where he mirrors your moves several seconds, walking toe to toe with you even if you are right in his face. Do not attack!

If you take the bait, he will immediately counter, instead wait for his lead, then strike. If he stops completely and charges his bodyslam, though, you'll want to either run like hell, or try to stunlock him out of it, which option you take is up to your playstyle.

The Arial jump and rocket lunge can be thwarted the same way as the Pursuer: Jump _towards_ him, not away, so he goes past you and leaves his back exposed.

Weather you use a tank strategy or a mobile strategy (or even magic, I beat him using only dark magic once) stamina conservation is an absolute must. Always leave just enough to block/dodge with, even if you have to downsize your weapon to save energy.

The rest is up to you, good luck brave undead :3


	5. The Dragonrider

Dragonrider

Difficulty: 2.0 (if the platforms are up)

Status: Required (Opens an alternate route to the Bastille, but without Licia you cannot go to Hunter's Copse and access the Old Iron King)

Expected Deaths: 0-5 (if the platforms are up)

Frustration: Low (High is the platforms are down)

Epicness factor: Low

* * *

Attacks:

**Halberd Sweep**: The rider brings his Halberd around in a fairly damaging attack over his front.

**Halberd Thrust**: The Dragonrider brings his arm back and thrusts his halberd forward. Has a great deal of range and power, with a gigantic knockback, which will cast you into the sea for one hit kill if the platforms are down.

* * *

Clearing the Old Knights on the way to the tower will reveal three levers, which raise parts of the platform, until the arena is raised, eliminating the threat of getting knocked off the map.

From there, beating him is a joke: He has only two moves, both of which are easy to predict and dodge, his slow turn speed baits him for getting stabbed in the ass with various armaments. His health and damage are both low, and the only thing that could really kill you is being overtly careless about evading him (he is a boss afterall).

Nary a shadow compared to the Dragonslayer up the road, he is obviously intended to be a minor obstacle on the way to No-man's Warf, and should be one of the first bosses you take down :3


	6. Flexile Sentry

Flexile Sentry

Difficulty: 7.0 (8.0 on NG Plus)

Status: Optional (Opens a path to the Bastille)

Expected Deaths: 0-10

Frustration: Medium

Epicness factor: Mild

* * *

Attacks:

**Sword Sweep (Swords)**: a basic, duel wielding sweep with his curved blades.

**Sword Thrust (Swords)**: A long range thrust from the side using one of his curved greatswords.

**Club Sweep (Clubs)**: Same as his sword sweep, only more damaging and causes bleeding.

**Club Slam (Clubs)**: Slams his clubs directly down on the player, resulting in much pain.

**Overhead Attack (Clubs) ()**: He tucks himself forward, bending in half while his sword-wielding twin trusts upward, causing his swords to come down on the player's head. Since the attack is technically from above/behind you, it will bypass your shield entirely and do a huge amount of damage, and there is little warning he is about to perform the move.

**Leaping attack ()**: The Sentry jumps across the room and brings his swords/clubs down on the player. The damage is more than enough for a critical injury if not a one hit kill, especially since healing agros him and will likely trigger it immediately.

* * *

Basically a heavy hitting brute/sword wielding giant in one. Getting behind him will simply agro his other half, so attacking from the side is the most viable strategy. Strong and fast, he may give people not equipped to deal with him a lot of anguish.

His overhead attack is his most dangerous move, and has little telegraphing, and opportunities to heal will only come when he is already locked in a combo due to his leaping move, which can take you off guard alongside his thrust attack.

Not terribly hard for veteran players, but he may be troublesome to many people the first time they engage him, and haven't familiarized themselves with his moves.

The side with the clubs is arguably the most dangerous side, as it causes bleeding and triggers the overhead attack, so try to fight the swordsmen as much as possible to make the fight easier.

If you are still having trouble, then a phantom summon (Lucatiel if you play offline like me) will be a great asset: Both halves can't agro at the same time, so one hitting from the front while the other hits from the back will confuse him and again make the fight easier.

If you are on NG plus or higher, a phantom is mandatory: the shadow assassin's that enter the arena are even more dangerous the boss himself and there are two of them, and at one point water floods the area to stop you from running (solo fights past NG plus land the player dead in seconds from my experience).

Overall, the fight isn't the hardest, but at a lower level he can be very treacherous, but a good shield and calm approach should make the fight perfectly manageable :3


	7. The Ruin Sentinals

Ruin Sentinels

Difficulty: 9.0 (4.0 with Pilgrim Bellclaire)

Status: Required (However, a shortcut that bypasses the mummies on the second floor can be exploited to bypass the sentinels if you enter the back door of the Bastille through the Exile Holding Cells)

Expected Deaths: 5+

Frustration: High

Epicness factor: Variable

* * *

Attacks:

**Halberd Sweep**: A three hit combo of hitting with a great hammer. Very long range and angle, but fairly easy to block.

**Halberd Thrust**: A single strong thrust with the Halberd, easy to dodge but hard hitting.

**Halberd Slam**: A two handed slam into the ground that does a great deal of damage.

**Jumping Attack ()**: Can Land clear across the room for massive damage, always triggered by healing, which will almost always get you killed.

**Spin2Win ()**: A long ranged attack that consists of spinning 360 degrees continually while sweeping forward. Hard to dodge and nearing the 1-Hit Kill range if the player is unprepared.

**Shield Toss ()**: They spin throw their shield near the ground, the metal grinding over the ground like a buzzsaw. They can only use it one time, and lose their shield in the process, but it _will_ kill you in one shot if you don't dodge it. They use it entirely at random, and it has infinite range, impaling in the wall.

* * *

By this point, I've said how to dodge melee weapons, and this boss isn't that hard at all. The problem is that there are three of them and they are seldom in the same place at the same time. The first stays on the platform, but the moment you kill him or fall off, the other two will come running.

It is VERY easy to get overwhelmed by the onslaught, and can kill even the best at the game.

The first, last, and best strategy is to get a good shield with good stamina and summon Pilgrim Bellclaire from his cell. The sentinels have near impenetrable armor, save against magic, something he uses a ton, allowing him to carry you through the whole fight so long as you keep the heat off him.

_He can cast goddamn Crystal Soul Spear in infinite amounts_, which will take giant chunks out of their life. All you have to do is attack the sentinel's to distract them (or wear the Red Eye ring from Shalquiorr), running around the room and letting them chase you all over the arena while Bellclaire does his thing.

If they stop pursuing you, and don't get agroed away, rest easy: if all goes well, they will both be on death's doorstep by then, allowing you to finish them off easily.

The best way to ensure you remain in human form to keep summoning him if you die is to use the life protection ring from No-Man's Warf. It so happens that even in NG, killing all enemies on the way to the Sentinels from McDuff's Workshop will net you EXACTLY 3000 souls, enough to fix the ring if you die and get sent back to the Bonfire, a quick stop to Majula all you need if you haven't unlocked McDuff.

Just keep at it until the Sentinels are dead, which took me the second try on my new character using this vary strategy :3


	8. Lost Sinner

Lost Sinner

Difficulty: 91 for NG, around 1,000,000,000,000,000 (Or one quadrillion for you sorry fuckers) for NG+

Status: Required to beat the game bitch

Expected Deaths: God Knows

Frustration: Unimaginable

Epicness factor: Dirt

(I do not like this boss very much)

* * *

Attacks:

**Three hit combo**: A basic set of three heavy attacks, and her primary move. It may seem stupid, but this is more than enough: her attack radius is well over 180 degrees, even arms reach next to her is not safe (poor Lucatiel can advocate for that). Stronger and faster than the Pursuer, you will play hell blocking it with shield or surviving it if it gets through.

**Thrust**: Another one of her most common moves, she runs at you full speed, then thrusts her sword forward. It may seem direct, but it tracks so well you can't dodge too early nor too late.

**Leaping attack ()**: Yes, she has one too, and it is goddamn powerful. Even behind a greatshield, it may guardbreak in one hit with damage to spare. Weather you try to dodge it or block it is your call, they are equally hazardous.

**Ambush Attack ()**: A nasty twist on her leaping attack: she jumps over your head rather than on it, landing behind you and attacking with either a thrust or three hit combo with fairly equal probability. If the room is dark (which it is unless you killed the Belfry Gargoyles before the Sinner by some miracle), there is a very high probability you will lose your lockon and have to manually turn the camera and re-lockon , leaving you wide open for the hit.

I have learned how to adjust myself to keep her in my sight, but _anyone_ seeing this the first few times will be caught off guard.

* * *

Now, she doesn't have a wide diversity of moves, but she is goddamn powerful. Or should I say _gamebreaking _powerful. When you fight her the first time, likely in the dark, you will notice two very important details working against you:

The first is that since it is very dark, she is hard to see, but what you may not know is that your lock on range is halved, making it much harder to keep her in focus at a distance, and since she has a habit of jumping far across the room at any given moment, you will lose lockon very often.

The second, and worst problem, is that unlike you she has infinite stamina. There is one small catch though, it _is infinite_. Let me explain, all bosses have infinite stamina, but to make up for this, they have pauses.

Ornstein and the Pursuer have a high attack speed, but like to strafe around the arena a few seconds, between attacks. The Last Giant is very slow and sluggish, so you always have a reprieve. The Dragonrider has a long lag between his lunges. See what I mean? They all give you a brief moment a to collect yourself and get your bearings, a brief moment the boss takes to "rest" before winding up the next hit.

Aside from healing, it gives you an idea how to track them.

The Sinner _does not have that_. I have fought her more times than I care to count, and I can tell you that she has no starting _or _ending lag. She is _always_ attacking, she is _always_ jumping around the room, she is _always _running in for a thrust, she is _always_ winding up for a hit.

She never leaves you the fuck alone, but unlike Gwyn and Flamelurker, her attacks have enough tracking to turn 780deg to fuck you up and there are no obstacles to get in her way so you can heal, and unlike Artorias, you have a very hard time seeing her moves and keeping her locked on due to the environment.

She has, on more than one occasion, glitched out and stopped transitioning attack to jump to attack, killing me with a 50 hit combo through my greatshield, into my lifebar, into the lifeless air where I dropped dead even though "You Died" was fucking displayed in front of her face as she frantically continued to attack.

And that's excluding NG plus, where you have _**that**_ plus two black phantom pyromancers with infinite casts of Flameswathe and Forbidden Sun ramped up to max damage plus ten.

You must go in with the expectation this fight is bullshit. There is no fighting her with honor. Monastery Scimitar? Parry Away. Phantom summons? Of Course. Dark Majick Climax Spam? Better remember those herbs.

This is the most brokenly hard boss fight I have ever seen, there is no shame in taking her on BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. No one will judge you.

On that note, there is one strategy that I found will kill her consistently:

Grab a huge ass greatshield.

Get a tough as balls sword

Summon Lucatiel (or another player)

Wear the Red Eye ring to Agro her towards you.

Strategy: Let her lay into the shield while strafing left, hit her once in the ass with your weapon, back off and let your stamina recharge. Take it slow and steady as fuck: few attacks, many blocks, many periods of letting your stamina go up.

Since she's in goddamn berserker mode anyway, the ring will make her ignore your phantom, letting them get in free hits (and it adds up, it really does, every little bit helps)

So long as you can survive the onslaught, you will win… after a few deaths since it is part luck, but don't expect something silly like "fun" or "memorable experience".

*whew* Fuck, I hate this fucking cunt barrel of a boss :3

Also, why you people no review? Every bit helps. Is this a useful guide? What do you think of my stories? Speck up people, a stupid comment is better than none at all, it tells me you're interested! :3


	9. Scorpioness Najka

Scorpioness Najka

Difficulty: 8

Status: Required

Expected Deaths: 5+

Frustration: Medium

Epicness factor: Medium

* * *

Attacks:

**Staff Combo**: Najka sweeps left with her staff, then right, then thrusts. Decent range and power, but easily blocked.

**Pincers**: The two tiny pincers near the base of her body at the front lash out, first the left, then the right. Not very damaging, but it has massive poise damage and will eat through a shield in terms of stamina.

**Tail Sweep**: Najka leans far to the side and bends her tails until the venom sacks are nearly touching her, sweeping them back to the side and hitting anything behind or around her.

**Tail Slam**: Najka simply hammers the ground behind her with her tails, though the move is actually quite rare unless you stand directly behind her too long.

**Stinger Plunge**: Najka brings her tails into the air then stabs them down towards you. Sloppy Accuracy and low damage, but they still hurt and she gains a massive armor boost to stop you from exploiting the attack.

**Stinger Stab ()**: When her two tails raise up in unison and symmetrically, the singers side by side, she does another plunge, but if you get his by this one, the stingers will actually impale into you, bringing you into the air and not only doing a ton of damage, but pumping you with Toxin. Recovery is near impossible, for if the damage doesn't kill you the toxin will.

**Homing Crystal Soul Spear ()**: She charges up an attack that looks identical to homing soulmass, except they explode into crystal soul spears with very good tracking and an preposterous amount of damage. There are six total: three fire as she runs after you, the other three fire on her next attack (the attack does not have to be near you to trigger it).

Not only is this damaging, but it is very hard to avoid, especially in conjunction with other attacks.

**Crystal Showering Soulmass**: She condenses a mass in her hands, firing it directly into the air in an arc and exploding it into Crystal Soulspears that rain from above. A rare attack that isn't too hard to avoid, it can still surprise you.

**Burrow ()**: She dives into the ground, becoming invulnerable to damage and burrowing after you Bug's Bunny style. If she surfaces directly under you, she will jump out for a one-hit kill (unless you have really good vitality)

* * *

Much like Ornstein, she has a wide variety of different attacks, and can switch up her movesets on the fly. Dying to her multiple times is to be expected, as her great size actually works to her favor.

When in front of her, use a shield to block her pincers and staff. They hurt, but don't inflict much stamina damage against a shield, even with a small one, though a greatshield would be even better. If you want to be the guy and dodge, you can get away with that to, they are really her weakest attacks.

Her plunging stingers will be used a lot, but you should be able to avoid them easily. If you see her winding up her Toxin attack, however, it would be a good idea to get back a ways just to be safe, as it can cost you the fight easily.

Her tail sweep is pretty easy to avoid if you stick to her side. Really the best way to fight her is to lock on, hug her side and attack at the base of the tail, where you'll do bonus damage. When she winds up the tails, walk around to her other side, then hammer down as her tails sweep around.

When she jumps away from you after a set time to shuffle her tactics, she may perform a variety of cruel and unusual attacks to make you miserable in place of her basic moves, this is normal:

She will burrow at least one time per battle without fail. When she does, just run a ways, slow down, then run again if she gets to close, pulsing the stamina bar. Eventually she'll end the burrowing and dive back out of the ground.

When she charges up her Soulmass, you are likely screwed. The best hope you have is to dodge the shots fired as she runs at you, then eat the other three if you can't avoid them, healing afterward.

Showering Soul Spear will likely never come into play, if it does, just run towards her and roll, it will go right past you.

She may seem like a straightforward boss, but Najka can be very, very tricky due to her high level of versatility and difficulty to predict. Dying a few times to her will very likely happen, just take it in stride and you will prevail :3


	10. Royal Rat Authority

Royal Rat Authority

Difficulty: 1

Status: Optional (required to enter the Rat Covenant)

Expected Deaths: 0

Frustration: Low

Epicness factor: Medium

* * *

Attacks:

**Charging Headbash**: The Authority tucks his head down and runs forward at very high speeds, smashing you in the chest. Despite his size, he moves way to fast and tracks way to well to dodge, and he uses it A LOT.

**Paw Sweep**: Oversized Fido does a two hit combo, one to knock you back and the other to hit you as you are knocked back, which makes for a deadly one-two punch. Worse, the hitbox is _purposefully designed_ to reach behind you and smack you in the back as you walk under him or attack his front paw, making it unblockable.

**Vomit ()**: This attack will pull defeat from the jaws of victory, because unlike all the other acids you see in game, this is harmless to your equipment and dissolves your lifebar instead. No matter how high your vitality, this pool will kill you in under ten seconds and it covers a massive area.

He only uses it one time: when he hits about 10% health, he'll outright stop in place and kind of tuck his head down, spewing the green sludge moments later.

* * *

Now, this boss sounds scary because it has such huge attacks and massive range, he's the biggest, meanest and strongest monster on the list thus far, so why is his difficulty only a 1?

Allow me to introduce you to Science Souls, today's lesson is on the Gaping Dragon Phenomenon.

I call the Gaping Dragon the greatest skillcheck in all of Souls, and I stand by that: you fight an obese blue demon, then a minotaur, a duo of gargoyles, a duel wielding goat, then a MOTHERFUCKING FIFTY FOOT SUPER DRAGON WITH THE RANGE AND DAMAGE OF A BALLISTIC MISSILE, HUGE BOOMING THEME, AND A SHITTON OF INSTADEATH ATTACKS!

However, after a long period of thinking your foe in invincible, even with a Zweihander, you realize that he has blindspots on his body that you can exploit. Afterall, if he was invincible there would be no point in playing.

Once you structure a strategy around exploiting those weakpoints, the boss becomes easy as piss no matter how big and scary they look.

This boss has it big time: all you have to do is leisurely walk towards him with a shield up and let him do his huge battering ram attack. It will wipe out 100% of your stamina and guardbreak you, but since his attacks have a large interval, he doesn't exploit it, allowing you to get your bearings and keep walking towards him.

When you walk under him and he winds up his giant paw swipe, here's where it gets interesting: if you walk forward until the lock-on curser is above you head, you can flip around and start walking backwards underneath him by flipping the analog stick around, letting the authority sweep forward with his massive attacks, missing you completely even with his ridiculous hitbox.

This may take a few tries to get used to, but once you get the timing down, you can use this to avoid all his attacks, consistently, every time you fight him.

Since he steps past you, you have easy access to his back leg, which confuses the hell out of his AI since his tracking is so fucking good, you're never supposed to be able to slip behind him. Since he can't defend himself, just wail on him until he jumps away. Rinse and repeat to take his lifebar down faster than Seathe took Gwynevere.

When you whittle his life down and he outright stops, run really far away to avoid the acid bath, then wait for him to stop vomiting and hobble towards you, mercy killing him with a couple good swipes when he gets near.

I have beaten him five times in a row and taken no damage. This boss _cannot _hurt you if you use this tactic to exploit his weakspots. The most dangerous thing in the room when you walk in are the five toxic dograts that will gank you to death upon entry.

Just bring an AoE, good ranged weapon, or be one with the Greatsword master race, and you can cluster them together and kill them all in one or two shots long before the authority jumps in.

Enjoy your easy victory and an asston of souls, assuming the Ratbros don't kick your ass on the way there :3


	11. Executioner's Chariot

(Freja and Prowling Magus coming soon, but I wanted to write this one first)

Executioner's Chariot

Difficulty: 9.0

Status: Optional (required to enter the Brotherhood of Blood)

Expected Deaths: 5+

Frustration: Low

Epicness factor: Legendary

* * *

Attacks:

Stage 1:

**Roadkill Attack ()**: This one isn't very poetic, he just runs your ass over with his chariot, resulting in infinite agony.

Stage 2:

**Hoof Stomp**: The Horse brings his hoofs up and smashes down on the player, clipping through and ignoring shields more often than not.

**Side Sweep**: The Horse brings his head around and smashes you in the side, very painful and hard to block or dodge.

**Kick ()**: If you get behind him, or around his back haunches, he will swing around and kick you in face, knocking you off your feet and leveling the average lifebar.

**Charge**: The horse tucks his head down and runs forward at very high speed, the effect reminiscent of Smough's Hammer rusher. If you do manage to block this, you are almost certain to be guard broken and subject to follow up attacks.

**Dark Flame ()**: The horse stops short of you and dragon-breathes huge columns of black fire that will turn your body into a rice crispy faster than shit. Unblockable as it is pure dark/fire damage.

* * *

Jesus almighty above in heaven this is a fun boss fight. Not just a fun bossfight for Dark Souls 2, not just for Souls, but period, this boss is phenomenal, the only problem is the goddamned BDSM squad on the way to his boss room (it is heavily recommended you encounter him in NG, when the BDSM squad can be one-shoted by a single backstab and aren't goddamn red phantoms)

First of all you should know this is a unique fight with no dominant strategy to fight him, so here is an outline of what you will encounter and some options:

The fight takes place in a crescent arena: with a bottomless pit of death on the far right and far left. The room has roughly ten skelingtons, five in one half, five in the other, with two necromancers resurrecting them.

The chariot goes through every so often, roughly ten seconds as he circuits around. You do not want to get run over, so you have to hide in one of the many side pockets to avoid him, letting him pass before looping around the left side of the crescent in order to get to a lever and drop the gate.

This would be easy if not for the skelingtons: which can be a huge problem if they gang up on you (which they do). The best way to deal with them is to hide in a pocket, blocking with a shield and keeping them in the ally, letting the chariot run them over before running to the next pocket.

It is highly advised you find the first necromancer on the left side of the passage in one of the pockets, kill the fuck out of him, then kill the skelingtons, clearing the way forward.

Rinse and repeat with the next necromancer, on the right side of the passage just before the gate, dispatching all the skelingtons before taking on the chariot.

There are two ways to go about this:

Option A). Shoot at the chariot as it passes until he runs out of life, causing him to crash in the pit, dispatching the executioner, who will be hanging onto the edge for dear life and will likewise drop into oblivion with one hit (I've never done it myself, so I may be wrong)

This is the safest option, but will cost you an enormous amount of ammunition, so it's up to you.

Option B). Drop the gate at the end, which will crash the chariot and kill the executioner. The Twist? You fight the fucking two headed zombie pony from hell. I am not making this shit up.

It is, again, a fun as fuck fight, but will demand a lot of adaptability and skill because he is very strong, very fast, and is spazy as fuck: you never know what he will do and when he will do it, and since he cannot be stunlocked, it is easy to be caught off guard in the middle of an attack and take heavy damage.

He has an attack able to reach in front of, next to, or behind him, leaving him no blindspots: you have to be wary of an attack at all times and be ready to dodge or run for it at any time.

Be prepared to exchange blows: taking and dealing heavy damage back and forth until you win/get stomped for the 50th time. For this reason, you must be very stingy with your healing items so they are available when you need them. The Horse has low health (for a boss), but deals so much damage in such rapid succession the fight will get very brutal very fast.

His dark flame is by far his worst attack: if you are near him, run towards him to get behind it and counter attack, if you are far away, run as fast as you can until you are out of range.

That's really it. The fight, as you can tell, has a lot of elements at play and gets very chaotic. Death will happen.

A lot. But you will enjoy the experience so much it will hardly matter, so best of luck and may the flames guide thee to victory :3


	12. Prowling Magus and Congregation

Prowling Magus and Congregation

Difficulty: 1.0

Status: Required

Expected Deaths: 0

Frustration: low

Epicness factor: low

* * *

Attacks:

The Clerics:

**Lightning Bolt**: A single bolt of lightning from across the room that deals fair damage.

**Mass Heal**: The Clerics unleash a torrent of power that completely heals everyone in the room.

The Congregation:

**Pimp Hand**: When dey show duh player their place!

Pinwheel:

**Dark WoG**: A burst of force radiates from the mage's body, doing fair damage in all directions.

**Dark Orb**: a slow moving, hard hitting bolt of darkness.

* * *

Welcome back to Science Souls, today's lesson: The Pinwheel Effect

The Pinwheel effect is when a really good boss concept or design is leveled for a player who's only just started the game with star in their eye and Casul naivety in their heart.

But, since said player, on the natural course (at least this seems the most common), has beaten Last Giant, Pursuer, Old Dragonslayer, Dragonrider, Flexile Sentry, Ruin Sentinels, Lost Cunthose, Scorpioness Najka, and the Royal Rat Authority by this point, instead in walks Randy Fightington III with the ring of MLG + 12, fire in his belly and grit in his teeth, who proceeds to kill the boss with fire from his eyes and lightning from his ass.

The dominant strategy is easy: Summon Benhart, the buff to the boss makes absolutely no difference in this instance. Have him distract the minions and thin the congregation while you kill the clerics to stop them from healing the others. Finish off the congregation with Benhart. Gank the Prowling Magus to death in literally six seconds.

Congratulations, here is your cookie. The only conceivable way to die is to get careless: they have low health, but if the clerics and Magus hit you with magic near the same time, you will redline and may be finished off by the congregation before you can heal.

I actually like this fight, it is fairly memorable for the design of the enemies, but they are barely worth mentioning as a battle :3


	13. Duke's Dear Freja

Duke's Dear Freja

Difficulty: 6.3

Status: Required

Expected Deaths: 3-10

Frustration: High

Epicness factor: low

* * *

Attacks:

**Stomping Attac**k: She basically has a seizure and stomps her eight legs numerous times all over the room. Inaccurate but near impossible to predict and heavily damaging.

**Lunge**: Freja teeter totters back and forth, springing forward with her pincers and hitting for huge damage.

**Dropping attack**: Freja rears up on her back legs, then slams down again with her front legs. Telegraphs like a motherfucker, but deals tons of damage upon connection.

**Web Spit**: She spits up huge globs of web, which can lock you place until you either break out via button mashing or get hit by one of her attacks, which isn't fun.

**Acid spit**: Both her halves spit giant globs of acid in huge numbers, which go all over the place and hit for a large amount of damage.

**Moonlight Beam ()**: What can I say? She gets high up on her feet, where you can't hit her, and shoots you with a fucking death ray, which sweeps around the area with infinite range for an easy Instadeath.

* * *

This boss isn't so much a threat as an… Annoyance. A gigantic, eight legged, high leaping, super damage-doing nuisance.

Unlike other bosses who can take you by surprise and are often used with tact, her attack patterns, save for the lunge, almost always involve blanketing large areas with damage with no precision whatsoever while her horde of Spiderlings skitter about and gnaw at your ankles relentlessly.

What? Can this fight get anymore tedious and annoying you ask? Why of course it can, not only does she spam ridiculous attacks that can kill you near instantly but take no skill to avoid or see coming, but she is armored.

I mean armored, she _cannot _he injured on _any_ part of her body save for the face, where her only decent, accurate attack, the lunge, originates.

She is a goddamn nuisance and to make matters worse is actually tough enough to kill you multiple times, especially with the goddamn laser Shoop Da Whoop of death.

The best way to fight her is to summon Boyd to help you clear the horde of spiderlings, then gank her, one on each face to confuse her, and make sure to have the patience to deal with her bullshit :3

On that note, there is one thing you need to be wary of: There are three enemies, one before, two after, to watch out for. That's right, this boss is more annoying and less challenging than her entourage, and- she has a goddamn entourage!

**The Peasant**: Apparently TrollSoft has been watching Youtube alongside us. Seriously, the hat, the leather armor, the beard, the pickaxe, it's the goddamn Peasant!

"Out of the way Fukn noblmen, peasent comin thro!" he booms, murdering you with his pickaxe for the ten thousandth time, especially since he spams the hell out of his rolling attack that is near impossible to intercept since he has infinite stamina.

Okay, the fight itself is really cool, and I find keeping him at arm's reach with a halberd will disarm him pretty well.

**Lord Tseldora**: Fights with a regular Estoc, who you meet in his study after the fight. He's a joke, though it's fun to experiment with various forms of execution :3

**Body of Vengarl**: Considering you're likely worn out and low on, if not out of estus and inundated with tens of thousands of souls, seeing this monstrosity will likely make you shit bricks. I have never been hit by his attacks, but I can tell you they will hurt, and hurt a fuckton, so avoid them.

He is heavily armored and very fast, with huge combos on his red rust swords. The best strategy is to stay behind him or near the side, dodging his strikes and hitting him when the moment is right. You'll face worse, but he can do major damage if you aren't prepared :3


	14. Skeleton Lords

(Sorry I'm behind on these, I've had a very stressful past couple days and tend to kill bosses faster than I write about them T.T )

Skeleton Lords

Status: Required

Difficulty: 6.5 (For late game, at an earlier level they can be a massive threat)

Expected Deaths: 1-5

Frustration: Minimal

Epicness factor: High

* * *

Attacks:

**Slash (Scythe Wielder)**: A simple cleaving motion with the scythe that can bleed heavily.

**Cleave (Axe Wielder)**: A heavy chop on your head or from the side, though it shouldn't be too bad.

**Fire Orb (Halberdier)**: A fairly damaging pyromancy that can be thrown across the room and can take you off guard.

**Fire Stream (Halberdier)**: An up-close flamethrower attack from the head of his weapon. I haven't been hit by it, but it should rapidly build up damage and kill a lower level player.

**Stab (Halberdier)**: A simple lunge, not must to say.

* * *

Omuhgerd this is another insanely fun boss to fight! He goes down easily due to Pinwheel Effect, but the atmosphere, the soundtrack, and their attack patterns make this a very fun battle and highlight of the game.

Each one has roughly 1000HP, so not too much, but the problem is that when you kill one, his dead body unleashes a set of spirit orbs that summon skelingtons with various levels of difficulty:

Scythe Wielder: A half dozen skelingtons with bucklers and Estocs, and yes, they can piece shields and parry if you try to hit one with his guard up, so be wary.

Halberdier: Summons five duel wielding armored skeletons, which are easily blocked but can eradicate you with their Knight Souls stunlocking and combokill capabilities.

Axemen: Summons four Bonewheels. **Bonewheels**. But, thank god they had some discretion as they don't have as much health and do much less damage than their hellish Dark Souls counterparts.

What order you take them down and how to deal with the Skelington Lords is up to you, though I find summoning the Bonewheels first is a lot easier as they spawn in the lowest number, so there is less opportunity for Ganking on the Skelington Lords' part.

Also, they are not necromancers: they will not resurrect the skelingtons until death, so you do not have to kill all of the lords and fight the massive army of bone warriors all at once (something that takes many people off guard, as the natural response is to kill the summoners first).

Finally, the best way to deal with everyone is to stay at the edges of the room in order to keep from being surrounded and to stay mobile so you only fight a few at once. This boss is still tough enough to kill you, but can be easily outmaneuvered and defeated for a hell of a fun time and a painless victory :3


	15. Covetous Demon

Covetous Demon

Difficulty: 7.0

Status: Required

Expected Deaths: Unknown

Frustration: Extreme

Epicness factor: Nonexistent

* * *

Attacks ( lol ):

**Bellyflop of Doom**: The covetous Demon rears up and smashes the puny undead with his stomach.

**Bouncy bouncer**: He uses the power of fuck all to launch himself a hundred miles at the player and smashes down on them.

**Broomsweeper of Death**: The covetous demon uses the force of his godlike power to make his hitboxes and tracking a thousand times more powerfuller than the highest masticators, rotating 180deg at a time to hit the player with his tiny arms, doing massive damage and stamina damage against a shield.

**Holy Roller**: The Covetous Demon flips up on his side, rolling around the area to steamroll anything that gets in his way (do not try blocking, many have tried, all of them died)

**Tail plopper**: His tail does the hokey pokey and smashes anything behind him over a wide radius.

**Om nom nom ()**: This attack is self-explanatory: he fucking eats you whole, does a little damage, disequips all of your items, spits you back out, then proceeds to rape you with his myriad of bullshit attacks. Fuuuuuuu-

* * *

Alone in the Blight, you hold my eternal respect, but TrollSoft did not say "let's put some shit here lolol" for the Prowling Magus, _nonono_, this fucker gets that honor.

Now, many readers may have no experience with the past games, so let me give you some History Souls: In Demon's Souls, they had a low budget to work with and no fans to guarantee a good payback. For that reason, they were restricted to going small with everything.

The game had only seventeen bosses: three per level plus the Final Boss and the "Real" Final Boss.

When they went to Dark Souls, they had a much greater budget and a really solid fanbase to ensure they could go to obscene levels and not lose their asses on the deal, and massive they went because they were very ambitious in their pursuit to outdo themselves, leaving some ideas incomplete, flawed, or just for the sake of filler to make the deadline on time.

Dark Souls II is the same way: they couldn't be great with everything, however the Prowling Magus isn't a filler boss because the church, the corrupted citizens, the black mage, and even the joke difficulty make perfect since where they are and are quite believable, and the difficulty thing can be described as Pinwheel Effect rather than lack of trying.

This boss, however, makes no fucking sense. The "Lore" around him is an absolute joke, they didn't even _try _to give him an intuitive and interesting moveset, and all your deaths can be attributed to artificial difficulty in action: from stupid as hell hitboxes to the OP attacks and obscene tracking, and while you can remove Prowling Magus and feel like something is missing (a church at the edge of a barren wasteland and nothing to fight?) this Jabba the Hut wannabe could be deleted and you would be none the wiser.

I can't give you a strategy to fight him because really his moves are so straightforward and easy to predict the only strategy is "stabby choppy until he winds up an attack, then run a bit, then stabby chop some more"

The only word of advice is to keep some stamina on hand to run if he starts rolling or winds up a leap (which can hurt you if you are standing next to him when he jumps because fuck logic) and when you see him pull his head back to devour you, roll like hell because the hitbox train don't stop!

The best part about this fight is that it is likely one of the most needlessly stupid and pointless you will face and everything else will be marginally better :3


	16. Mytha, the Baneful Queen

Mytha, the Baneful Queen

Difficulty: 10 with the poison, nary a 4 without.

Status: Required

Expected Deaths: God Knows with poison, less than 10 without

Frustration: Ungodly with poison, high without poison.

Epicness factor: Nonexistent

* * *

Attacks:

**Spear thrust**: She slithers at you with her spear out, thrusting for large damage.

**Jumping sweep**: she jumps backwards while sweeping her spear, hitting you and moving back a ways, which may land her in the poison and heal her.

**Spear Combo**: She basically hits you multiple times with her spear for large health/stamina damage.

**Soul Spear**: Her mouth opens, shooting a soul sear at you.

**Soul Bead**: Like soul spear, only a cluster of them erupt to hit you.

**Head Toss**: She throws her head at you, which explodes and deals a great deal of damage if you are standing close.

**Constrict ()**: A nasty, hard to avoid grab attack that has her wrapping her body around you and juicing a large amount of health from your person, which you may not recover from.

* * *

This boss is another joke boss, only she has the most insulting way of cheesing imaginable, like Trollsoft's sole intention was to spit in the eye of every last player. Her room is full of poison, which will rapidly kill you while healing the boss, making this bitch nigh invincible.

You go to the second bonfire of Earthen Mound, burn the windmill a little ways away down by holding a torch near the shaft and hitting X to "set light"

(it is absolutely important that you wait for all the machinery in the mound to grind to a halt, then rest at the bonfire afterward. If you go the room directly after burning the windmill, it will still be full of poison and will permanently glitch to make it impossible to drain)

And boom, she becomes one of the easiest bosses in the whole game. You can kill her in single combat with little trouble, or summon Jester Thomas (hearts everywhere) to barbecue her ass with Forbidden Sun.

Fuck you Mytha.


	17. Old Iron King

Old Iron King

Difficulty: 0/11 could swing either way if you have the experience.

Status: Required

Expected Deaths: Variable based on experience, I died to him more than 20 times when I first fought him, last time it only died once and it was because I walked off the edge (which was actually my fault)

Frustration: Variable

Epicness factor: Medium (yes, it is a cool fight as long as you get over the tedium)

* * *

Attacks:

**Claws**: He brings a giant hand up and smacks you over the side.

**Fist**: he brings a fist up and smashes it down on your head. Sometimes uses one, other times two.

**Melee Combo ()**: A combination of sweeping over the arena with his claws and smashing down with his fist, which has lengths from 2-4 attacks with various outcomes for an unpredictable and deadly attack.

**Fire Splash ()**: When he is at half health, all of his melee attacks gain a blast of flame, much like Smelter Demon (who I won't fight until I'm at a really good level).

**Fire breath**: Breathes fire down on you (for up close) or in a long column across the arena (for ranged).

**Fire Beam ()**: Brings his arm back and thrusts forward, hitting you with a focused beam of energy.

**Fire Burst**: If you stand near him for too long, he may charge up and unleash a huge pulse of fire (wilikers, kinda like Smelter Demon)

* * *

This boss has it all: massive attacks with incredible damage, a huge knockback to send you into the lava for an instadeath lolololo, and he is surrounded in lava, incredible armor class to stop physical attacks dead, and an environmental advantage that makes fighting him with melee a complete chore.

The first step to fighting this huge opponent with huge damage is to armor down, that's right, shed as much armor as you can, and your shield too. Trust me, they will not help you.

Second is to equip a giant weapon and some form of elemental damage, or else his armor will make the fight drag on for an eternity (I used Dark weapon paired with a Mastodon Halberd and it tore right through his armor and took huge chunks out of his lifebar)

When you are lightly armored and have some good elemental damage, now you need to fight him. A reactive, high speed strategy is the most viable:

When he winds up his claws, roll into them as they sweep across, then dodge the almost guaranteed ground pound and smash his hand with your elemental weapon of choice.

When he smashes the ground (beware as his firebreath and double ground pound have near the same animation) hit him then as well.

When he rears his head up, retreat back and let him breathe fire, close the distance and repeat the previous steps.

If he breaths a column of flame at you from a range, or charges his fire beam, run _at_ him, and dodge to the side as he fires to avoid damage (if you touch it, the knockback may send you into the lava for an instadeath, this is the most common way to die. Always put the fire _between_ you and the edge of the arena).

Since he'll be locked in the animation, you can melee the shit out of his arm/head, wait for him to stop attacking, charge stamina, and repeat the process.

So long as you have your timing down and a good elemental weapon, you should take him apart without a problem, though this guy is brutally unforgiving to inexperienced players, so there is no shame in dying.

With three of the three derp lords down, the last Lord is_… him_


	18. Royal Rat Vanguard

Royal Rat Vanguard

Difficulty: 7.5 (can be higher if you don't know the tricks)

Status: Optional (Required to access the Rat Covenant)

Expected Deaths: 0-10

Frustration: High (if you can't spot the boss)

Epicness factor: Medium

* * *

Attack:

**Bite**: Bites to instantly poison you and do some heavy damage.

* * *

This fight is pretty cool… not something to write home about, but one of the better fights in this game. This is a test of Skill and Wit rather than might, as trying to kill an infinite stream of rats is counterproductive.

The main obstacle is the fact that A). The statues will thwart many sweeping weapons and B). The Vanguard can easily blend into the crowd, leaving you chopping infinite rows of mice while the actual boss poisons and harasses you.

The best thing to do is to stay on the move, never letting the entire swarm surround you.

The other thing is to attack the Vanguard, preferably by ranged weapons or some strong magic. It's hard to tell, but the Vanguard does have markings that give him away when you know what to look for:

_-Significantly larger than the rats around him, they barely come up to his shoulder_

_-A large, prominent red Mohawk down his back_

So long as you can shake the minions off you and lay directly into the Vanguard, the fight is as good as won :3


	19. The Rotten

The Rotten *heart*

Difficulty: 8.5

Status: Required

Expected Deaths: 5+ (10+ for an inexperienced player)

Frustration: Low

Epicness factor: Excellent

* * *

Attacks:

**Sweeping Cleave**: He sweeps his cleaver to the side at a very fast speed, clipping the player.

**Two-handed Sweeping Cleave ()**: He'll place both hands on his cleaver and do a massive two handed attack from the side. Low point of contact and high level of telegraphing, but it will fuck you up like nobody's business on contact.

**Chop**: The Rotten lunges forward a good distance, then drops his cleaver right down on your head for heavy damage.

**Triple Chop ()**: The Rotten hacks his cleaver up and down in quick succession, wiping out and health and fully wiping out stamina even behind a greatshield. One is survivable, but if all three connect, you're done for without a substantial level of Vitality.

**Fist Slam**: His left hand will raise up and ball, dropping down to smash the player.

**Grab ()**: He will raise his arm and sweep to the side, grabbing you if you ae anywhere in front of him. He will then stuff his cleaver in his own body, hold you up, and break you in half. Survivable, but anywhere from NG+ on it should be considered an instadeath move.

**Burst ()**: At half health, he will be able to unleash an AoE around him to heavily injure the player and cause a massive knockback, which may land them in the burning grease. (this also adds an AoE projection from his cleaver chop)

**Pummel ()**: His arm and cleaver both flail erratically at his sides, randomly hitting every spot around him and causing heavy damage to a player who gets caught.

* * *

Alright, I jerked this boss off pretty hard in Top Ten Souls…. Now I'll fuckn do it again!

This boss is amazing, his atmosphere is amazing, the design is amazing, the fight is amazing. This is one of the very few bosses that truly had that deliciously menacing aura that made all the Dark Souls bosses of the past.

This fight is a hard one, even for a veteran Dark Souls player. He is highly damage resistant, and moves way, way faster than most all bosses of his size, while still retaining a massive amount of damage.

He can deal such an incredible level of destruction in such a short span of time, you'd have to see it to believe it, but how to defeat him?

If you've survived this long, chances are you have really good dodging skills, and this is the perfect time to put them to good use. Fighting him up front is suicide: if you hit him, he can actually ready his Triple Cleave and hit you before you can even finish the attack (to be fair I was using a Halberd, but this boss seriously doesn't fuck around, even light builds should be wary)

The best thing to do is to wait until he attacks first, then dodge into the attack (never away from, or his monster hitbox will do you in), slip in a few hits while strafing around, then charge your stamina and wait for the next attack.

Some moves like his Pummel and Burst (which has it have _the_ fastest cast time I have ever seen) are extremely hard to avoid, and even his regular attacks are capable of steamrolling you if you mistime a dodge.

Every last one of his attacks has the ability to cripple you (his damage usually exceeds half a health bar per attack), and require immediate healing.

Never fight on half your life, or you _will _die.

Apparently there is a bullshit way of cheesing where you can slice his wrists, cutting off his hands and rendering him defenseless, so there's that you cheating bastard), otherwise, know there's a secret bonfire by the entrance to the fight if you go to the edge of the cliff and follow the narrow ledge to the hidden chamber (no-one should have to clear the poison statues every single death) and prepare for one of the coolest, most thorough beatings of your Dark Souls life :3


	20. Twin Dragonriders

Twin Dragonfuckers

Difficulty: 7.0

Status: Required

Expected Deaths: Variable

Frustration: High

Epicness factor: Low:

* * *

Attacks:

Same shit as before.

* * *

Alright, so let's start off by taking note of the vast, extensive creative process that went into this wonderful, wonderful boss:

"Hey, Yui?"

"Desu?"

"Okay, so it says here that you commissioned this Dragonrider boss… who doesn't really ride a dragon because the infinitely more badass Dragonslayer lives just up the road."

"Kawaii!"

"Alright, well this boss appears to be really easy to defeat, and relies on an environmental advantage that can be disarmed, we think he should pose more of a challenge, so let's overhaul him with cool and unique abilities, else they'll start calling this 'Knight Souls' or something.

"Okay!"

***Later***

"All done!"

"Um, that's just the same boss, only there's two of them… and they appear way later in the game for no reason... and, is that a bow? You realize fighting an archer and a melee tank at the same time is needlessly frustrating and artificially difficult?"

"Uh huh!"

"… You know what, fuck it, let's pour our budget into Mirror Knight and ship it as is."

Are you fucking serious? You couldn't even copypasta a _good_ boss!? Even with moneys as far as the eye can see and more bosses at the halfway mark than the entirety of Demon's Souls you pull this ganker shit?

And one asshat Dragonrider has the _ballz_ to shoot me with one of my favorite weapons in the game? The fuck is this shit? I thought I was fighting Vendrick, Vendrick's evil Hoe said I was fighting Vendrick, where the fuck is Vendrick?

Extending the game past the awesome castle was… I got over it because there are some really cool bosses and places to visit past here, but this was just a goddamn insult.

How to kill the boss, you ask? Run to the base of the podium where the red and blue dragonrider (or as I like to call them, Agni and Rubra) are waiting for you, wait for Agni to break the podium with his halberd to get Rubra down, then you fight.

The fight is just like dragonrider, only there's two. When either of them get to 2/3 health, Rubra will put his bow away and draw another halberd to pursue you. Since Rubra has much less health and defenses than Agni, just kill him first, allowing you to mop the floor with Agni just as you did his derp cousin Cletus in Heide.

Good bye, good riddance… shitheads. Huh, now I suddenly want to play Devil May Cry 3… :3


	21. Mirror Knight

Mirror Knight (costarring Spearmen Bob and Giant Sword Joe)

Difficulty: 0/11. Without the right equipment and a summon, you will die countless times and find this boss an unbelievable misery, yet with the right tools I killed him in two tries.

Status: Required

Expected Deaths: Variable based on experience.

Frustration: Variable, though without a summon it can be unbelievably frustrating to fight him.

Epicness factor: High (so long as the frustration doesn't outweigh it)

* * *

Attacks:

**Sword Combo**: A randomized combination of sweeps and thrusts that are very hard to predict and evade.

**Running Stab**: This one is pretty simple, he runs at you with his sword cocked back, sprinting infinitely until he gets in range and stabs you.

**Running Chop**: He runs at you full tints than slams his sword down on you.

**Leaping Attack**: Like the others before him, this can break your guard and crush a large amount of your health.

**Radial Sweep**: A quick, 360deg spin that can hit anything in his melee range.

**Lightning Bead**: He points his sword to the sky and draws down a bolt of lightning, sweeping his blade around and unleashing a large number of giant lightning orbs to fry you.

**Lightning Tracer ()**: He draws lightning from the sky, then slams his sword down, unleashing a small bolt of energy that fly's over the ground and hits for a massive amount of damage. While it can be dodged, the tracking is so goddamn good it makes your life very hard.

**Summon Mirror Squire ()**: This one is just brutal: he can summon two NPCs from his shield to aid him, and if you are in NG+ and beyond, he can summon _players_, with all their warmth, healing, and +50 ring of Swag. This needs little explanation: the attack cannot be interrupted and Mirror Knight gains such great defenses it is hard to exploit the long cast time.

* * *

I'll be honest, I nearly rage quit this boss multiple times on various playthroughs, and I only just found a good way to kill him on my latest playthrough (which did him in try 2).

I hate this fucker with a burning passion: the shield's hitbox is big enough to shield the moon from an oncoming asteroid, the combos are bullshit, the way he pulls an attack out of his ass to kill you even when his combo expired is bullshit, the way he summons NPCs to kick your ass is bullshit, the way his attacks are designed so you will be facing the summoned NPC only for his sword will come out of nowhere from the edge of the screen to pwn your ass _is bullshit._

Yet after a time, I've come to respect this boss: as he isn't impossible, he just requires extra strategies, and his design is really, really good.

Since the rain will lower fire damage and amplify lightning damage (which is hard to exploit because his shield reflects lightning), his armor is very strong, and magic can't piece his defense, you have very few options.

This boss requires a lot of skill to dodge and a lot of stamina to block, so you should know what you are doing, and when he summons an NPC, always ignore the NPC first and keep your eyes on Mirror knight (if he summons a skilled player, may god have mercy on your souls).

The best way to fight him is a defensive, mobile strategy, though a summon to help you keep him distracted is an absolute must. A dark magic buff on your weapon, since Dark is the only thing he's vulnerable too, is absolutely devastating, so get it if possible.

If you plan to melee him, be aware of his shield: if anything hits it at all, even from the side, it will be reflected, making slashing weapons and greatswords a very, very ineffective option. A heavy thrust weapon like a spear, halberd, or lance buffed with Dark should cause significant damage and give you a fighting chance.

If you wish to exploit him, the boss is, actually, vulnerable to poison: Dark Fog or some poison arrows (though the latter can only be used with his shield down) will cause him to start dropping health rapidly, if all else fails (this does not work on NPC phantoms, they are immune) this is the best way to drain his life.

Good luck to you, as this boss can be dispatched with ease, but he has the capacity to be very brutal if you aren't careful :3


	22. Demon of Song

Demon of Song

Difficulty: 10 (if you count tedious as fuck hard)

Status: Required

Expected Deaths: 5+

Frustration: Extreme

Epicness factor: Low

* * *

Attacks:

**Slappy Slap Derp Flail of Total Chaos ()**: He pounds his arms up and down on the ground with no real direction, which doesn't seem that threatening until you're instadeathed by a single stray attack.

**Grab ()**: Brings his arms back to the sides and lunges forward in a grab, he then cheerfully yanks you into the air and does his impression of an infant with a rattle on the ground.

**Belly flop ()**: he rears up and smashes down (He's been taking the Covetous Demon School of generic attacks).

**Uber Leaping Bellyflop of Ultimate Damnation ()**: He stretches his entire body out, arms and legs, Ayoos into the air, then smashes down for an unbejeezus level of damage.

**Lunge of lance of god Mrk. 8.9**: He tucks his legs under him and does a lunge forward that can cross roughly a kilometer, is near unblockable, and does an ungodly level of damage. Move bitch, get out the way! Get out the way!

**Scattershooting Hydro Machinegun of death ()**: He shoots over a massive area with incredible powerful bubbleballs.

**Ready! Aim! Fire! – Ruben K ()**: He slaps the fucking ground and launches a volley of incredibly powerful bubble balls… point blank! Three times in a row! Wow, such difficulty, very Dark Souls!

**Sonorous Tune ()**: Okay, you're not going to believe this, he actually sings in hypnotically beautiful voice at low health, scrambling your controls and making you very disoriented. If you enter his range, he will shot his poisonous tongue out and attempt to drag you in and eat you.

…

Fuck no! That would be stupid!

* * *

This is it. The big one. The most infamously bad Dark Souls II boss of them all, perhaps the most infamously bad Souls boss in general. Dear god… just what the hell were they thinking?

You can summarize the entire strategy as this: If you use melee, fuck you because every attack can cripple/one-shot you. If you dodge, fuck you because the hitbox is so huge he can hit targets clear next to him if he lunges. If you want to inflict damage, fuck you because he has invulnerability until his face appears, and even then it forces you into the range of his broken attacks since you can only fight him up front (gasp, so amazing, such strategy, what technique!).

It's simple: be one with the magika caster master race and shoot him in the face from a range into his face until he is ded.

Best fight ever, fucking brilliant! This is the greatest… hold on a sec, this boss isn't good enough, I know: _twin_ Demon of Songs! And we'll spawn red phantom turtle mages into the arena with guest star the Old Black Dragon (not to be confused with Kalameet)

Fuck this boss, fuck this boss in the emaciated noseless face! (though, I'll admit, the design is cool even if the moveset is fucking worthless, but that's the only saving grace)


	23. Velstadt, the Royal Aegis

Velstadt, The Royal Aegis

Difficulty: 0/11

Status: Required

Expected Deaths: Variable

Frustration: Mild

Epicness factor: Medium

* * *

Attacks:

**Chime Hammer Drop**: He straight-up tries to smash you with his bell hammer.

**Bell Lunge**: An unexpected attack for a hammer, he can run forward and do a large thrust reminiscent of a halberd, which can deal heavy damage and knock a player of their feet.

**Chime Sweep**: He brings his hammer around. He can also do this while jumping back, to strike while putting some distance between him and the player, which he can follow up with more attacks.

**Chime Combo ()**: A combination of two large sweeps and a lunge, which can pulverize a player if all three connect.

**Running Strike**: He brings his hammer above his head and runs forward until in melee range, smashing the player with great force. Blockable and dodgeable, the choice is up to you.

**Homing Dark Bead ()**: He will kneel on the ground and start ringing his great bell back and forth with a violet rune surrounding him (much like his powerup at half health), launching a volley of powerful dark bolts that hone in on the player.

* * *

This boss in interesting in terms of difficulty: he can be quite powerful, especially to those who don't have an elemental boost to help get past his enormous armor, but also quite easy.

His attack chains can spell doom: as they have enormous stunlocking capabilities and if one hits, the tracking will almost ensure the others will find you and decimate your health, but if you dodge into the weapon, the chain will likely be negated as he turns back towards you.

Another thing you will notice is that he is very sluggish. Not slow, but it seems like he is half asleep during the fight (supported by lore), meaning all his attacks are slightly delayed, which can be good or bad depending on your adaptability, as it gives you more time to see it coming, but may throw you off and make you dodge to early.

Really, the fight is very straightforward, and past experience should make him quite manageable :3


	24. Guardian Dragon

Guardian Dragon

Difficulty: 6 (he can fuck you up, yes, but his attacks are highly exploitable)

Status: Required

Expected Deaths: Variable

Frustration: Fair

Epicness factor: Low

* * *

Attacks:

**Stomp**: You know this one by now.

**Tail bash**: None too hard to see coming, but it is quite deadly if you take it to the face.

**Firebreath ()**: One of his dirtiest moves: he will fire either in a straight line or in an arc to hit you. Not only will it do massive damage, but it will knock you to the ground, forcing you to stand up in the fireblast and take more damage with no time to roll for an instadeath. Fun!

**Wall attack ()**: I will give TrollSoft credit, they do make interesting twists on their dragon fights: his ability is to fly up on the wall of the cage and shoot a fireball with massive AoE damage or firebreath attack right down on your head. All the deadliness of the regular attack, only much harder to evade.

**Rain of Fire ()**: He will fly into the air and shoot fire directly down on your head, which is very hard to evade since it has such high splash damage.

* * *

You know what, like many other bosses, I forgot about this one until I got to the end of the manor, so I got to re-learn all the reasons this boss pisses me the fuck off.

One is the three OP as fucking hell albino vanguard Cyclopes demons baring the path, the level of bullshit that is needing no explanation, another is his insulting low HP yet ridiculous damage, and finally the fact his only cool attack wasn't expanded further.

For this boss, all you have to do his hide between his legs and melee him down, running away when he flies straight up, indicating a rain of fire. When he flies up on the wall, just run right under him, as he can't attack straight down, rendering you untouchable until he lands.

The funny thing is, I could have forgiven that this boss is hardly worthy of the title "dragon" and that the three OP Albino ogres on the way here were more of a pain, if not for the fact this is a standard enemy later in the game.

How later? Oh, it's only the level _right after the fucking battle_. Aside from the cool cage battle and how it ties into the battle, he fights with the strength and health of a standard enemy because he _is _a standard enemy!

Why is this even a boss battle, again?

"Oh look! A boss, they love boss battles so much and we just have so many!" Yes, congratulations, this is the 23rd boss in the game, and we haven't gotten to the DLCs or optional bosses yet.

Excluding almost a third of all boss fights in the game, you still have more than any game I have ever played, but all is for naught if you don't put in any fucking effort! You're better than this!


	25. Raime, The Fume Knight

(yes, I beat the main game, but I wanted to do the DLCs so I'll do some of those first)

Raime, The Fume Knight

Difficulty: Incalculable

Status: Optional (Required to beat the DLC)

Expected Deaths: 15+

Frustration: Low, unless you are averse to getting stomped

Epicness factor: Riding a motorcycle down the highway at 200+ miles per hour, then jumping off to dragonpunch a tyrannosaurus in the face with artillery shells and lazors raining from the skies all around, with Grey Fox, Scott Pilgrim, and Yusuke having a death math with Chuck Norris in the background

* * *

Attacks:

Duel wielding Stage:

**Sword Combo ()**: This one is ungodly, ungodly hard to place, as it has several variations. Sometimes it is a two hit combo with a quick two slashes, other times it is two slashes and a thrust, or a hit with the smaller blade, then a hit with the larger blade, or even just a running thrust.

Because it is so varied it can be very difficult to place, often tempting you into a preemptive dodge, only to get hit by an attack you didn't expect.

**Dragonbone Smasher ()**: He brings his greatsword into the air and then slams it down on your head. Can be dodged, but a hit by it can spell death.

**Backslash ()**: This fucking attack is _evil_- it is evil and it knows its evil. It has a long lead up, where he draws the blade to the side to where the tip is near the ground, giving you long enough to abandon all hope as he throws all his weight to the side, flipping around and hitting anything in 180deg, to the side, even behind him.

Can be used on its own or tacked to the end of other attacks.

Berserk Stage:

**Vicious Combo ()**: Performs two giant slashes with his giant, flaming sword, then ends it by either retreating, or by adding a Backslash, a Smashing attack, or a thrust with a _very _long range and enough power to make Godzilla shit himself.

**Sprinting thrust**: Does what it sounds like, actually one of his _least _punishing attacks.

**Flame Column ()**: he will bring his sword to the side, which will cause the hilt to glow brightly and make a distinctive charging sound, before he sweeps the blade around with an incredibly long reaching column of dark pyromancy.

**Desolating Explosion ()**: For lack of a better word to describe the sheer enormity of how destructive this AoE s- no, AoE implies an area is slightly damaged, this full on sends you running across the arena just to evade it praying for life.

He will plunge his blade into the ground, then trigger a giant, dark AoE explosion to cripple and likely oneshot anyone nearby while long range orbs circle outward (these do track so no stepping past them)

* * *

This isn't a boss. This, is a force of nature pretending to be a boss. Combine the hyperagression of Flameluker and the strength of Giantlord, then give him the speed of Old King Allant, then arm him with a powerful longsword in one hand and a Dark Abyss Pyromancy Dragonbone Smasher from Satan's Broomcloset in the other and you would get something roughly similar to what this boss is.

He is the best boss fight in all of Souls (that I have seen) in terms of epicness, scale, and combat, and death will be a plenty. I swear to god the developers researched the tactics of Dark souls players just so Raime could sabotage them (I swear whoever invented the incredible long range attack that hits things behind him was purposely trying to catch people as they heal, as the rear is usually a bindshot)

He is a goddamn monster, through and through, but I stand before you and say he very much can be defeated, so long as you remember some of these rules:

**Do not stand near Raime with low health**: If you do, he will almost definitely swing around with his backslash and kill you. If you see him finish a combo, jump back away a good several feet and wait. if he uses backslash, heal while he is executing the attack out of range.

**Control your dodging**: You will want to fastroll, even if you have to shed all but your primary weapon and wear a few rings, you want to be the new definition of speed to make sure ever dodge gets you far out of the way of his attacks, but you can't be presumptuous: do not dodge until you see it coming, assuming he will do one move will get you killed when he uses another.

When he does his fast three hit combo in Berserk mode, roll towards the first hit, then the opposite immediately afterward to evade the second, then roll again to miss the third.

When he charges the AoE, remember that it is an AoE _within_ an AoE, stand too close and you will get killed by the initial blast even if you dodge the balls, always keep him distant.

When he charges his burning sword to shoot a pillar of fire, run to his left leg and roll, slingshotting around him, here you can counter attack. Which leads me too:

**Don't get greedy**: Hit him once with a strong attack at the right time then get the fuck away, let your stamina charge (you will be raping the roll button all fight long, you will need it) rolling through his attacks.

Miss opportunities to attack whenever there is _any_ possibility of danger, as even the slightest misstep will be the end of you and only choosing moments you are confy with will dramatically boost you odds of survival.

Two handing a good weapon with Sunlight Blade should do a good level of damage, meaning less strikes needed to get the job done (I highly recommend the Engraved Gauntlets for this battle for that reason).

Take your time, there is absolutely no rush, there have been stages where I've had to simply strafe Raime as he strafed me, leading to an Asian moment of squaring up, facing down my nemesis with a fiery glow, awaiting the next strike.

**Do not Heal**: Just don't. As alluring as it may be, if you take damage, you're better off running towards Raime then away from him. Wait until he uses an attack that doesn't combo (I have never seen him chain an attack with his fire pillar or his running thrust attack)

I notice when you heal while he is in berserk mode, he tends to try and hit you with a fire pillar rather than run towards you and melee, use this to your advantage as Fire pillar can be dodged rather easily as long as you can heal before he starts using it.

**Berserk Raime is better than Duel Wield Raime**: Just trust me on this one. Tracking one weapon rather than two makes your life far, far easier even if the damage goes up dramatically. If you want to fight him on easy mode, simply wear Velstadt's helm into battle, (Riame doesn't like him too much)

**Have fun**: You will die a lot. This is one of the hardest fights I have ever encountered in a Souls game (or games in general for that matter), but it is also the most gloriously epic. It can be an incredible experience so long as you stay calm, focus, and are willing to accept your failure with a grin on your face, as this boss feels so sickening sweet to beat and so cathartic to battle.

I laughed for ten minutes when i won. Not battlecried, not swore in frustration and flipped off the screen as I do with most, but I just laughed and kept repeating to my father, who I was playing with "I beat Raime!", not to mention you get the most epic weapon in the history of Souls: The Dragonbone Smasher, new and improved looking fucking bitching with an S strength scale on an orgasm inducing moveset with uninterruptable attacks!

Flames guide thee, Varier Nox :3


	26. Sinh, The Slumbering Dragon

Sinh, The Slumbering Dragon

Difficulty: Incredible

Status: Optional (Required to beat the DLC)

Expected Deaths: 15+

Frustration: None

Epicness factor: You're fighting a motherfucking dragon underground, in a cave, with pillars of stone exploding all around and toxic swathes of fog sweeping through the cavern, I dare you to fucking top that!

* * *

Attacks (Ground):

**Claws**: He puts his body to one side, then jerks over to the side with his paw out and hits for a good bit of damage, then he jerks to the other side and hits you to two-hit kill a player with lower vitality.

**Spin2win ()**: A dragon with a spin2win attack? Why yes, and you will be fucked if you let it hit you. At first it looks like he's winding up his regular claws, but he'll have a noticeable list at the end of the attack, so when he flips around he will do a 360 and bat you with his tail.

But wait, there's more: he'll use the momentum of flipping around with his tail to fly around and do a 1080 tornado spin into the air with his tail out. Looks cool from a distance, not so cool up close.

**Bite**: He will twist his head around and do a quick nip, and while not very damaging, it springs out very fast and may clip you as you try to run up on him.

**Charging head-butt ()**: His most common melee attack, he will tuck his head to the side and run at you at high speeds, sweeping his head to the side to ram you when he closes the distance, which he can and usually does follow up with a bite and some claw attacks for a devastating combo.

**Rain of Fire**: He rears up on his hind legs and then breathes fire down on your head, can be easy to evade, but if he catches you in the hit, he may put even the sturdiest fighter in the ground.

**Fire column ()**: He will, at a very large distance, breathe a great column of toxic fire at you. Up close, it can be evaded by running to a point past his head for free hits. At a distance, you are basically fucked unless you have enough stamina to evade it.

**Sideburn ()**: For lack of a better word. If you try to cheese him by attacking his exposed flank, he will turn his head and immediately fry you with firebreath (this variation has almost no telegraphing, it just comes right out for an immediate hit)

Attacks (Airborne):

**Toxin Fireball**: From the air he will fire a large, explosive firebomb down on you, exploding for good damage and heavily poisoning you.

**Dive ()**: he will sweep down form the air and fly at you like a missile, ramming you for enormous damage before hitting the ground and skidding to a halt a ways away.

**Burning Dive ()**: The same as his dive, except that he breathes his firebreath as he sweeps down from the air, which not only adds heavy fire and toxin damage to his physical damage, but dramatically expands his hitbox.

* * *

Oh my god, this fucking boss fight is _glorious!_ Sinh is my by far favorite boss of the DLCs (can't wait for Crown of the Ivory King :3 ) with Raime just an ever-so-slight hair's length in second, though they both may as well be my favorites.

Anyways, to the boss: Aside from the incredible environment, music, pacing, and general epicness of this battle, it is very tricky, demanding a completely new set of tactics compared to other bosses.

As you can see, Sinh has a positively gigantic arsenal of attacks which he often combos together for amazing damage and power, with three distinct fields of attacks: ranged, melee, and airborne.

He sometimes uses ranged, and even then it is his toxin firebreath. Make sure to stay close to Sinh at all times, as the only safe spot when he is toxin breathing is a point behind his head (he gets locked into the attack, so you can get free hits).

He also, as you can tell, has numerous melee attacks, to which the best way to engage him is to treat his claws and neck as though they were greatswords: they may look huge, but a well-timed dodge will give you more than enough I-Frames to slip through, though you definitely don't want to get greedy: take a few hits and then leave him be until he flies off to start aerial combat (which usually only gives you one or two hits anyway)

When he rears up on his legs to use firebreath, run towards him and skirt around to his back foot, not only will you miss the damage, but you get a prodigal number of free hits.

His bite can be tricky, but if you hug his neck, you can evade it easily, just watch out for the claws, which are almost always used up close. Watch out, as his claws and spin2win look similar: if you see him make an odd, pronounced lean to the side, you better be prepared for that tail when it flips around to hit you.

At no time should you ever_, ever _(TAPE THIS DOWN WITH A SHARPIE) try to cheese him by attacking his "exposed" side, or you'll get fried, the same goes for his rear, where his tail will fuck you up. Yes, against all logic, the front is actually his weakest side, and your best bet to evade and hit him.

Now for his most infamous feature: Airborne combat. He loves to fly around, making you chase him across the arena. Don't get pissed off of irritated, it's actually pretty cool to stay in motion and change up the pacing, though he can be a little _too_ evasive at times.

Be wary, as his airborne attacks are by far his most powerful. His fireball (which he will most 100% definitely use the moment he's in the sky, save for rare occasions) is best evaded by move fast to the side, then dodge a time or two to ensure you are out of the blast radius (it's easier than it looks).

By distancing yourself from the blast by walking, you conserve stamina for the dive he uses immediately after the fireball (and he _will_ dive at you to land, all the time, every time). Dodging it is difficult, but again, strafe to the side as long as you can before dodging, it will dramatically increase the odds of it missing you, or at least engaging the I-Frames in time to prevent any damage.

The instant he passes you, make a 180 and run after him as he finishes landing (don't touch him when he is settling to the ground, it will count as plunging damage and ruin your whole day. Just let him settle in and start hacking.

To take full advantage of the moments he stays still, Sunlight Blade will majorly fuck him up, he may not look scaled, but heavy lightning damage is still his kryptonite, likewise fire, poison, and raw physical damage will do little to phase him.

A side note, but an important one, is to keep Sinh moving, for if he stays in one place too long, it'll get so inundated with toxin you'll be unable to approach him safely. Also, beware the toxin, as it can rapidly end a player on low health, and taking damage from poison reduces defenses, so you are losing life _and_ making yourself even more vulnerable to getting hit for bonus damage. For that reason, the Poisonbite Ring is a must have: with a +1 Poisonbite i survived several battles in a row without getting toxined, even when i was stuck in a few clouds.

Beyond that, have fun and drink in the atmosphere, and praise the sun for the bonfire not 20 feet down a barren hall to get to him, making retrying after death a breeze :3


End file.
